There are many things I could say on this topic but I found an article that says it perfectly. I know I've been posting links a lot lately but I really hope you enjoy this one!!
http://www.themanyfacesofic.com/what-its-like-to-live-with-ic/
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
The Random Song - Dermot Whelan and Dave Moore
Figured I'd add a random video and give your eyes a break from all my thoughts lately. Hope you enjoy! Let me know if you'd like to see any more videos or have any ideas of what you'd like to see posted!
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
There IS Hope
I myself have known what it feels like to have no one. To feel all alone. That no one cares about me or how I feel. I am a survivor of suicide and depression. Please don't give up. Be strong. There will ALWAYS be someone there for you.
At the time when I was at my lowest point in life, when I thought the only thing to do was end my life because I was just a troublemaker, that I would never amount to anything, that the only way to make everyone happy was if I was gone forever, etc. I was listening to the radio and suddenly this talk show comes on.
This guy comes on and he accepts calls from anyone who may need help about any topic. He says he's not a licensed therapist but he does all he can to help those who call. They also have licensed therapists and counselors waiting to talk to you about anything and try to get you the help you need. They helped me a ton at that point in my life. I remember sitting in my room just crying. Trying to figure out what the point of my life was anymore. I ended up calling the show and just breaking down. I talked to a trained professional about everything that was on my mind for over four hours. I never expected for anyone to actually listen and talk me through everything that was going on. But they did. After four hours I hung up the phone and just cried. Realizing how close I had come to ending it all over things that I thought were so big at the time. I know its kind of a cheesy thing to say but this radio show saved my life. I honestly don't know where I would be if I hadn't heard that show that night. I am how five years older and I couldn't be happier in my life right now. I feel so blessed some days its unreal. Feels almost like a dream.
Please, if you feel like there is no hope, that you feel like everything is falling apart, please talk to someone. Anyone. Your friend, family, your priest or bishop. Your old grade school teacher. Someone.
I am always here also. Feel free to email me or comment your email and I will reply as soon as possible. Just know there IS hope. Things WILL get better. I know because I have been there. I Struggled with suicide and depression for years before I realized how much life had to offer. And sometimes it knocks you down but eventually you get up, you dust yourself off and you walk away stronger then you were.
" Those listening to the show will hear Dawson encouraging listeners to call TheHopeLine during the live show. Every month, thousands of teens and young adults take the opportunity to talk with a HopeCoach at TheHopeline. HopeCoaches are trained volunteers that listen and offer encouragement and a different perspective to the issue the person is facing. At the end of the call a HopeCoach will offer the caller an approved partner professionally trained to counsel and or offer tangible support within the callers’ trouble area. Due to the partnerships we have established, we are able to offer real hope and ongoing support that can continue for weeks or even years depending upon the need and desire of the caller"
http://www.thehopeline.com/
At the time when I was at my lowest point in life, when I thought the only thing to do was end my life because I was just a troublemaker, that I would never amount to anything, that the only way to make everyone happy was if I was gone forever, etc. I was listening to the radio and suddenly this talk show comes on.
This guy comes on and he accepts calls from anyone who may need help about any topic. He says he's not a licensed therapist but he does all he can to help those who call. They also have licensed therapists and counselors waiting to talk to you about anything and try to get you the help you need. They helped me a ton at that point in my life. I remember sitting in my room just crying. Trying to figure out what the point of my life was anymore. I ended up calling the show and just breaking down. I talked to a trained professional about everything that was on my mind for over four hours. I never expected for anyone to actually listen and talk me through everything that was going on. But they did. After four hours I hung up the phone and just cried. Realizing how close I had come to ending it all over things that I thought were so big at the time. I know its kind of a cheesy thing to say but this radio show saved my life. I honestly don't know where I would be if I hadn't heard that show that night. I am how five years older and I couldn't be happier in my life right now. I feel so blessed some days its unreal. Feels almost like a dream.
Please, if you feel like there is no hope, that you feel like everything is falling apart, please talk to someone. Anyone. Your friend, family, your priest or bishop. Your old grade school teacher. Someone.
I am always here also. Feel free to email me or comment your email and I will reply as soon as possible. Just know there IS hope. Things WILL get better. I know because I have been there. I Struggled with suicide and depression for years before I realized how much life had to offer. And sometimes it knocks you down but eventually you get up, you dust yourself off and you walk away stronger then you were.
" Those listening to the show will hear Dawson encouraging listeners to call TheHopeLine during the live show. Every month, thousands of teens and young adults take the opportunity to talk with a HopeCoach at TheHopeline. HopeCoaches are trained volunteers that listen and offer encouragement and a different perspective to the issue the person is facing. At the end of the call a HopeCoach will offer the caller an approved partner professionally trained to counsel and or offer tangible support within the callers’ trouble area. Due to the partnerships we have established, we are able to offer real hope and ongoing support that can continue for weeks or even years depending upon the need and desire of the caller"
http://www.thehopeline.com/
Monday, October 20, 2014
15 Things NOT To Say To Someone With A Chronic Or Invisible Illness
I figured that since I posted a while ago about "What people with Chronic Illness DO want to hear." that I would post '15 things NOT to say to someone with a Chronic or Invisible Illness."
Enjoy!
http://asweetlife.org/feature/15-things-not-to-say-to-someone-with-a-chronic-illness-or-invisible-illness/
Enjoy!
http://asweetlife.org/feature/15-things-not-to-say-to-someone-with-a-chronic-illness-or-invisible-illness/
15
Things Not to Say to Someone with a Chronic or Invisible Illness - See
more at:
http://asweetlife.org/feature/15-things-not-to-say-to-someone-with-a-chronic-illness-or-invisible-illness/#sthash.7n15gYP8.dpuf
15
Things Not to Say to Someone with a Chronic or Invisible Illness - See
more at:
http://asweetlife.org/feature/15-things-not-to-say-to-someone-with-a-chronic-illness-or-invisible-illness/#sthash.7n15gYP8.dpuf
15
Things Not to Say to Someone with a Chronic or Invisible Illness - See
more at:
http://asweetlife.org/feature/15-things-not-to-say-to-someone-with-a-chronic-illness-or-invisible-illness/#sthash.7n15gYP8.dpuf
15
Things Not to Say to Someone with a Chronic or Invisible Illness - See
more at:
http://asweetlife.org/feature/15-things-not-to-say-to-someone-with-a-chronic-illness-or-invisible-illness/#sthash.7n15gYP8.dpuf
15
Things Not to Say to Someone with a Chronic or Invisible Illness - See
more at:
http://asweetlife.org/feature/15-things-not-to-say-to-someone-with-a-chronic-illness-or-invisible-illness/#sthash.7n15gYP8.dpuf
I'm Not Her
Every time I look in the mirror, I turn away from my reflection. Her face stares at me, trying to mold me into who she is. The person I see each time I look in the mirror is someone I swore I would never be. That person is my biological mother.
I'll save you the frustrations of me and my mom's sob story/my childhood story. They are not worth recounting or even remembering.
She's so far from the person I thought she was that I've come to hate her. I thought maybe after all these years that she had changed, that she wanted me with her. Turns out she only wanted me so she could try and mold me into her 'baby girl" that she left so long ago.
If I could write a letter to her it would start something like this. "I may look like you, but I will never be like you..."
I'll save you the frustrations of me and my mom's sob story/my childhood story. They are not worth recounting or even remembering.
She's so far from the person I thought she was that I've come to hate her. I thought maybe after all these years that she had changed, that she wanted me with her. Turns out she only wanted me so she could try and mold me into her 'baby girl" that she left so long ago.
If I could write a letter to her it would start something like this. "I may look like you, but I will never be like you..."
Sunday, October 19, 2014
You Don't Know Me
Most people when asked how well they know me, will say my favorite colors, my favorite band or favorite food. But when it comes to how well they REALLY know me and my life, most will just shrug and look away. You may think you know who i am, but really, no one does. Not the "sick" part anyway. Since I got sick, I've kind of become a shut in. Rarely leaving my house, stopped being social, stopped answering texts and phone calls.
And I know its stupid to some people to think of myself as "The Sick Girl" but when your diagnosed with chronic pain and other things and it hurts just to get out of bed, it slowly gets that way.
No one really knows what to say when they find out I am still having severe pain or that I'm not getting better. And its even worse when they first find out I am ill. Most of them throw out things like "I'm sorry," and "I'm always there if you need me." but we both know they are just empty words. For most people anyway. They may want to help but when it comes down to me needing them for something, they make excuses or just ignore me because they don't know how to handle the sick girl.
Sad, but true.
Even my parents aren't very considerate of me and my feelings. They tell people what their version of my sickness is. That since I stopped going to church and started smoking and married outside the temple that that is why I am having these problems. They never stopped to consider how I feel about all this. Or how I'd feel if they just tell everyone their version without even listening to mine.
The funny thing is (At least to me) that I've had health problems all my life no matter how small. I was born four months premature, I only weighed 1 pound 7 1/2 ounces when I was born, and I had a hole in my heart along with severe amount of fluid on my brain that needed to be treated with a shunt which goes into my brain to drain the fluid into my stomach. And when I got sick two years ago shortly after getting married, they never stopped to consider what happened to me when I was little. They just jumped on the fact that I stopped going to church and married outside of their faith and that I took up smoking.
I just wish they could understand how hard this is for me. I need my parents support right now and I feel like I no longer have it. They basically said that when I turned 18 and moved out that I was no longer their responsibility. I understand that, but I've pretty much been ignored by them for years. When I was ten I moved in with my step mom's parents for almost 7 years. I saw my family only once a year if that. The only good thing was that I got to spend two weeks every summer with my little sister.
Anyway, getting back on topic. I just wish there was a way to explain to everyone that I need support. Not just them asking how I am and not really caring about my answer because its always the same. I know there isn't much that anyone can say, but they could at least be there for me if I need someone to talk to.
They always make excuses to why they can't. If I really need to talk to someone, I wish they would at least PRETEND to listen so I could get it out. But No. And when they need to talk to me, they raise hell if I am unable to talk or text.
*Sigh* This is all so frustrating.
And I know its stupid to some people to think of myself as "The Sick Girl" but when your diagnosed with chronic pain and other things and it hurts just to get out of bed, it slowly gets that way.
No one really knows what to say when they find out I am still having severe pain or that I'm not getting better. And its even worse when they first find out I am ill. Most of them throw out things like "I'm sorry," and "I'm always there if you need me." but we both know they are just empty words. For most people anyway. They may want to help but when it comes down to me needing them for something, they make excuses or just ignore me because they don't know how to handle the sick girl.
Sad, but true.
Even my parents aren't very considerate of me and my feelings. They tell people what their version of my sickness is. That since I stopped going to church and started smoking and married outside the temple that that is why I am having these problems. They never stopped to consider how I feel about all this. Or how I'd feel if they just tell everyone their version without even listening to mine.
The funny thing is (At least to me) that I've had health problems all my life no matter how small. I was born four months premature, I only weighed 1 pound 7 1/2 ounces when I was born, and I had a hole in my heart along with severe amount of fluid on my brain that needed to be treated with a shunt which goes into my brain to drain the fluid into my stomach. And when I got sick two years ago shortly after getting married, they never stopped to consider what happened to me when I was little. They just jumped on the fact that I stopped going to church and married outside of their faith and that I took up smoking.
I just wish they could understand how hard this is for me. I need my parents support right now and I feel like I no longer have it. They basically said that when I turned 18 and moved out that I was no longer their responsibility. I understand that, but I've pretty much been ignored by them for years. When I was ten I moved in with my step mom's parents for almost 7 years. I saw my family only once a year if that. The only good thing was that I got to spend two weeks every summer with my little sister.
Anyway, getting back on topic. I just wish there was a way to explain to everyone that I need support. Not just them asking how I am and not really caring about my answer because its always the same. I know there isn't much that anyone can say, but they could at least be there for me if I need someone to talk to.
They always make excuses to why they can't. If I really need to talk to someone, I wish they would at least PRETEND to listen so I could get it out. But No. And when they need to talk to me, they raise hell if I am unable to talk or text.
*Sigh* This is all so frustrating.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Earliest Memory (Preschool!)
My
earliest childhood memory was when i was in preschool. We were all
sitting around playing with toys and eating our graham crackers when
suddenly the teacher starts singing 10 little witches in honor of
Halloween which was that day.
'1
little 2 little 3 little witches
4
little 5 little 6 little witches
7
little 8 little 9 little witches, 10 little witches in all!”
After
she finished singing, we all clapped and ran around singing
variations of that song at the top of our lungs. (the parts we could
remember, most of us were just screaming with delight)
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